Why “women of a certain age” should still wear makeup

I recently read an article proclaiming that women over 50 should go au naturel and ditch their makeup. Seriously? Clearly the author has never seen me “au naturel.” It ain’t pretty.

Of course the article featured photos of women who were beautiful without makeup. The truth of the matter is, though, that most of us who have worn makeup for years either aren’t More magazine cover material or we just feel better with makeup on – no matter what our age. Now I’m not saying you have to go all out Tammy Faye, but let’s be honest. If you’ve always worn makeup, the mere thought of going completely “nude,” which is pretty much what I would feel like if I went without makeup in public, can be downright horrifying.

Do you look like Gwyneth Paltrow? Go for it. Jennifer Aniston? Fine. Bitch. But the vast majority of us do not look like a walking beauty stick, so let’s be real here, people.

I can honestly say that even before it became “the thing” a few years ago, I started wearing less makeup – but I still don’t leave the house (for the most part) without some amount. And I sure as hell don’t go for a night out or even to work without my “new” basics. No one needs that jolt first thing in the morning when I walk through the office door.

There are all kinds of pointers, tips, guidelines, “rules,” and what have yous, about makeup for “mature women over 50.” (Let me take a moment right now for a little sidebar to address that phrase. That was in the title of an article. Some might read that and say mature=over 50, so why be redundant? Well, I take that statement as a personal disclaimer because as my mom pointed out just a few weeks ago, I’ve never grown up. So the makeup rules don’t count for me, and possibly you, regardless of the fact that I wouldn’t follow them anyway. And is 50 really considered that age of “maturity” that we all know they’re referring to? Whatever. All the way around.)

I’m not going to analyze whether to wear makeup. It makes no difference how I psychologize it or how anyone else pontificates about the whys and why nots. Here’s the thing. Women who wear makeup and who have always worn makeup usually do so either because they feel like they need to or because they like to. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me. If you wear makeup, what do I care? If you don’t wear makeup? Still don’t care. And why do you care what I care anyway? Why do you care what anyone else cares?? Fuck ‘em. That’s my rating on the caring scale. Big fat zero.

Bottom line? Do whatever the hell you want to do. Au naturel. Bare minimum. Lip gloss and mascara. Tinted moisturizer. Tammy Faye. Though I do feel obliged to point out that that is a look that only one woman can pull off. Her name is Tammy Faye, people. And guess what? She’s dead.

If ditching your makeup is liberating, more power to ya. Just wait til you ditch your bra. And I don’t mean just the minute you walk in the door from work or running errands all day with that thing stranglin’ the girls. I mean For. Fucking. Ever. Now that, ladies, is real liberation.

Be you.

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