Zippity Doo-Dah

I think I often dress in certain colors according to my mood. I’ve thought about this before when something happens or I’m contemplating some big life event. Or not so big meaningless event. Without consciously making the choice, for example, I may wear grey or black if I’m feeling a little blah or somewhat uninspired.

Today was a run-of-the-mill day. When I got up this morning, it was overcast and there were some brief snow flurries. I wasn’t necessarily feeling down or uninspired, but I chose to wear grey cords, a dark grey pullover sweater, and a chambray shirt underneath. For a little color to break up all the darkness, and apparently to embrace the current weather, I wore a white, silver, and blue snowflake pin on my sweater and a pair of rhinestone snowflake earrings. A little bit of hip pizazz.

Nothing really monumental happened for almost the entire day. Chatted in the hallway with a few colleagues, had brief mini-meetings in drive-by fashion with a couple of co-workers, stopped by my boss’s office for a little chit-chat, and went about my benign, merry day. While yakking with my boss, he mentioned my wardrobe and little pop of blue in the snowflake and how it coordinated my ensemble. That isn’t exactly what he said, but the conversation was relatively light and I thought nothing more about it until later. Hours later.

After 5, one other person and I were the only ones left in the office. I ran downstairs to use the restroom. And it was then that I made the horrifying discovery that my fly had been unzipped the entire afternoon. Perhaps the entire day.

My mind raced. Did I go to the bathroom earlier today? Have I really been walking around all day with my pants unzipped? Holy crap. I’m a grown woman. With all most of my faculties intact. Yet I somehow forgot to zip. my. pants. Are you freaking kidding me right now? OhMyGod! I gasped.

I had the memory of standing in the doorway of my boss’s office. His comment about my wardrobe came to mind. What was it he said about the blue in my outfit? Shit! Could he actually SEE my underwear?! Cute paisley design. Blue. Yes, they’re definitely blue. Did he specifically comment on the blue in my pin, or did he just comment on the pop of blue?! Think think think. What did he say? Ohmygod. I could feel the heat rising from my chest and up through my neck to my face. I felt the crimson glow on my cheeks. This was not my normal hot flash. It was worse. Much worse. Pure. Humiliation.

Wait. Wait a second. At least I was wearing underwear. Everyone wears underwear, right? Well, most people wear underwear. Or at least a large majority of the adult population in the United States wears underwear. So it isn’t like I was parading around nekkid. I immediately felt better after putting it all into perspective. Aaaannnnd… at least I don’t have a penis. Now THAT could have been a real pop of color!

Happy HUMP day, friends!!


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