Okay, not as profound as “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” but today is December 1. Yesterday marked the end of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), during which time I wrote precisely zero words on my blog(s). Absolutely not one word. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nil. Naught. Nothing. Not a single damn word.
Yesterday was also my birthday. (November 30 – mark your calendar so that you don’t forget next year and all the years to come. I’m not much of a birthday cake person, but you can send me pie or dark chocolate.) To celebrate, I went to a friend’s house for dinner and Ouija. Kind of like dinner and wine, only better. No buzz, no need for a designated driver, no hangover, and no stained lips. I still had hot flushes, but I’m lucky enough to get to experience those even without the wine, so it was a win-win. Sort of. Well, not really in that sense, but whatever. I’m trying to stay on my high-flying disc, so just go with me on this one.
Anyway, after putting the lasagna (vegan – and delicious!!) in the oven and setting the timer, my friend Jan pulled out the sacred Ouija board. We started the session as we always do by, you know, asking for all the good shit and none of the bad shit. And then we stared at each other for a solid three minutes to decide what to ask. One would have thought that I’d have amassed a list of questions for the evening so that I could get all the answers, especially in light of the fact that the last time we got together with Ouija we had a conversation with God. No shit. That was some pretty heavy stuff, but that’s not who came to visit last night.
Finally the light bulb went off in my dull brain. (After a long week at work, Friday night typically isn’t when I do my best work. I’m not really sure when I do my best work, but it definitely isn’t Friday night.) I said I wanted to figure out what to do about my writing. I’m kind of all over the place and I have something like five blogs going. Well, they’re not really going. They just exist. I really wanted to write, but I have all these topics in my head and I couldn’t focus or narrow down what posts to put in which blog, so I didn’t post anything. Productive, right? Which is where Ouija comes to the rescue. So I asked the Ouija how to manage my blogs and writing so that I could unparalyze myself and stop doing nothing. I’m not even sure if that’s a double negative. Stop doing nothing. Stop doing nothing? Does that even make sense? I told you – it was Friday night.
Lights dimmed, our eyes closed, and fingers lightly perched on the Ouija thingy (the technical term for the thing you perch your fingers on – look it up. I’m sure that’s what it says in the game insert), I asked what I should do about my blog(s). Without much hesitation, the thingy moved. Once it stopped, we both opened our eyes. There, in the middle of the Ouija eye (the other technical term that has to do with the Ouija thingy is the “Ouija eye” – the clear plastic circle through which you peer to see where the thingy has landed, thereby giving you a “clear” message), was the number “1.”
“One,” we both said slowly, brows furrowed, looking at each other. How slowly really can you say a three-letter word, and how can you really not understand what that one three-letter word means? “One?” We sat in a moment of silence to ponder the profundity of the message delivered via the sacred board. “Oh! One blog. Focus on one blog!” Sweet Jesus, what a relief! I had been slaying my brain for months, trying the figure out how I was going to manage three blogs (shhhh… don’t get hung up on the fact that I said I have five – it will make this an even longer post and we don’t really want that now, do we?) and balance the rest of my life.
Why it never occurred to me to ask the Ouija before, I’ll never know. Ah, the wisdom. Sheer brilliance. Spirit knows. Only the Shadow knows. There I had it. My ticket to write. [Subliminal message: She’s Got a Ticket to Ride Write will play in your head now for days and days and days…. You’re welcome. My baby don’t care!]
Seriously. With the steadfast guidance of the Ouija Goddess, and after discussing it for a bit, I came to the realization that Life in the Crass Lane is as me as any blog ever could be. All along, I’ve had this idea in my head that my blog should be focused on one area. Says who?! Zeroing in on the “me” of any and all of my blogs through my writing is what directs the theme. Duh, genius. I really am smarter than I sometimes seem.
With an instantly renewed enthusiasm for my writing, I declared last night that I would post every single day during the month of December. No matter what, I’ll publish at least one blog entry a day. It may not be as long-winded as this one, but I’m committing to 31 continuous days of posting. And then we shall see what we shall see.
So buckle up, my friends. We’re in for a joy ride. Or at least a ride. I have no idea what’s in store for this li’l blog of mine, but I’m about to find out.
Happy weekend, people! May the good shit forever be with you!